Exhibit B

Chapter 7:  #VAN-DALIZED

Exhibit A

LISTEN to the Chapter

This next chapter I’d prefer to skip, because I maintain my claim of total innocence, but Andrea always says we have to tell “the whole truth”, so here it is... 

Fact:  Sometimes kitties get bored and they need some entertainment.

Fact:  It is the owners’ responsibility to protect their own toys.

Fact:  Anything at kitty height is fair game.

Ok, so maybe I have chewed a few pieces of clothing and shoe strings…but you have to understand the temptation for a cat and the exhilaration of sneaking in a closet and sifting through the hanging clothes completely camouflaged is irresistible. And I prefer stretchy fabrics for optimal chewing, so mostly Sandee is the one that’s always mad at me because she has a lot of fun chewy workout clothes.

After I left Pennsylvania, Tom and Sandee continued to find pieces of evidence to build the case against me.  Whenever she would find one, Sandee would yell “That cat!!...Van Diesel!” ---that was my cue to start running. But then she would look at me, see the love in my eyes, and laugh and I knew I was off the hook.  After many “That cat!!” moments, I became known as “The Heart-Shape Bandit” because of the distinct heart shape I would leave behind in the clothing, shall we call it my signature mark, my calling card.

Tom would say, “Found another one of my shirts,

“VAN-DALIZED”.”

The prosecution would like to show you Exhibit A and B to the right. 

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- Van